More tales from my little bean-driven empire…
To make sure that all of my students, including the super responsible and self-controlled, have to suffer the injustice of my reckless taxation, I have instituted what I call “Random Taxes.” These vary from day to day, and might be for having a birthday in an odd month, bringing a hoodie to school, or having black shoelaces.
Today I decided to try an example from the real world, and I charged a “prosperity tax” of two beans (unheard of in Bean-land!) to everyone who had ten or more beans. All of my little hoarders howled in protest, and one savvy student piped up, “Aren’t you just punishing us for following all of the rules and having lots of beans?”
I shrugged, enjoying my power, and explained, “Yes, but you have lots of beans, so that means you can pay me more.”
Student (eyeing my cookie-jar federal reserve): “But look at how many beans you have! I have twelve beans, and you have hundreds!”
Me: “Yes, but I need your beans so that I can make lots of bean soup. That way I can eat it and not be hungry, and I will still have the energy to do the hard work of being your teacher.”
Student: “Fine. But now I don’t care that much about following the rules if you’re just going to take my beans anyway.”
He ponied up the two beans, of course (I haven’t taught them yet about civil disobedience), but I think that a young conservative has just been born.
February 9, 2009 at 7:49 pm
haha.
i love it.
next time, you need to take the beans from the bean hoarders and give them to the kids with fewer beans. and maybe grind up a few beans for no reason to truly give a picture of the government.
that might have been mom’s idea…
February 10, 2009 at 9:37 am
I told John to read this post, and he was trying to figure out ways for your kids to evade their taxes. I reminded him that although his ideas were clever, he’s not in fourth grade. (So, he doesn’t get as much credit for his creativity.) It’s a good thing he doesn’t know any of your students, otherwise, he might put them up to something.
February 10, 2009 at 1:31 pm
I’m curious what he thought of! Surely there are no holes in my iron-clad system! Maybe you can tell me in secret so that I can be prepared in case any super-wily fourth graders come my way…
February 11, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I would not report some of my beans, and keep them in an off desk piggy bank account.
February 12, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Here’s my bean-tax evasion idea:
Suppose Alice has 12 beans. She doesn’t want to pay the two bean tax, so she finds Bob, who only has 7 beans. When tax time comes, Alice can lend Bob 3 beans, and neither one has to pay the tax.
Now here is the fun part. If Bob is kind, he helps Alice out, no questions asked. However, Bob can charge Alice one bean for storing her beans temporarily. Alice will still take the deal because she only looses one bean instead of two, and Bob likes the deal because he gets one bean richer.
An especially wiley student could take this one step further. Instead of returning Alice’s beans (minus Bob’s charge), Bob can simply give Alice an IOU that promises the bearer the balance of beans from Bob. In this way, Alice can have the purchasing power of all of her beans (and she is rich because she is a good student) without having to pay any prosperity tax. In fact, the more bean bankers she lends her beans to, the more promissory notes she has and the more wealth she can accumulate without paying the prosperity tax.
Bob can increase his wealth too. If he knows that Alice will give him one bean every day in return for an IOU, he can start to give out IOUs to other students before he has collected the bean from Alice. He is hedging his bets against everyone wanting all of their beans back at once.
Bob is the only one who pays tax, but because he is now getting one bean for every bean loan he stores, the two bean tax for having more than ten beans becomes insignificant.
February 12, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Okay, yeah…you’re not invited to fourth grade!
February 15, 2009 at 2:50 pm
You could transition in to a really interesting unit on economics. In fact, with your simple bean system, plus my idea of putting the IOUs and bankers on top of it, you have all the necessary things required to explain the current financial mess.
Not that fourth graders are really concerned with special investment vehicles and sub-prime mortgages, but, when you get down to it, it’s all there.
February 15, 2009 at 5:33 pm
That’s exactly how I feel!
“…I don’t care that much about following the rules if you’re just going to take my beans anyway.” I should’ve put some of my beans in an off-desk piggy bank account. Haha!