When I first told my fourth graders about TH, they wanted to know if they could give suggestions for names.  Curious, I welcomed suggestions, and got lots of great ideas, most inspired by some of our topics of study for the year:  Nebuchadnezzar, Ferdinand Magellan, Charlie, and Augustus.  The girls were more realistic: they suggested Jessica, Amy, and Christine, among others.

Last week I got home from Bible study to find a message on my cell phone from one of my students last year. She said: “Mrs. Watson, this is X.  I’ve been thinking about names for your baby, and I have made you a list.  If you want to hear it again, you can call me back.”  She then proceeded for the next three minutes or so to read the very long list of boy names, followed by girl names.  It was an incredibly diverse list, with the boys list including Puyi, Sterling, Xavier, Lysander, and Mike.  Suggestions for girls ranged from Shanequa and Emma to Helena and Cindy.

For my own thoughts on baby-naming, I’m pulling a post out of my secret blog vault to share with you:

“Back in the day, people didn’t give much thought to naming their children. A name was just something you used to distinguish one of your offspring from the other. Typical naming went something like this: John is the son of Bill and Mary. Sue is the daughter of Joe and Ann. John and Sue get married and start having kids. They name their boys John Jr., Joe, and Bill, usually in that order. They name their girls Little Sue, Ann, and Mary, usually in that order. If they do not expect to have many children, John and Sue might name a child John William or SueAnn. If they have more than six children, they go to the Bible for inspiration. By the time I was born, naming was even easier. If you had a girl, you could call her Jennifer. If you had a boy, you could name him Matt.

Life would have been easy if we had been born into either of these generations. However, naming babies is a whole new ball game. In choosing a name for our children, we are having to choose two little words that encapsulate not only our personal and unique family identity, but also all of our hopes and dreams for the life of the child. Talk about pressure! What if I name her Mindy and she doesn’t want to be a cheerleader? What if I hope that little Tristan will grow up to be an artsy and dashing movie star, and he ends up becoming a plumber? Giving a child a name contrary to his or her destiny would be a grave misstep, indeed, resulting in thousands of dollars spent in therapy.

And so, it is with great care and forethought that we (I) have decided on the first name by which our baby (yet imaginary) will be known. Turniphead Watson represents all that I hope and dream of for the little boy-or-girl-to-be. Unlike some babies, who are given nicknames like Sweet Pea or Honey-Bumpkins, little TH will know from the beginning not to take himself (or herself) too seriously. When you cry, kid, and your face turns purple, you look like a turnip. Don’t expect any sugar-coating, even from Mom and Dad. Or should I say, especially from Mom and Dad.

I want Turniphead to know that sometimes people will hear his name (or notice anything else unusual about him), and they will laugh. The answer is not to cry and run to Mom, but to laugh with the opponent, thus disarming him. And then, if he’s sure he can finish what he starts, TH will punch his opponent in the face.

Once born, we will know whether we’ve had a boy Turniphead or a girl Turniphead, and then the real fun will begin. We’ve selected nice, normal names for what we hope will be our nice, normal kids. They’ll grow up to be nice and normal, and hopefully as funny as their parents, and we’ll live happily ever after. I really believe this will work.

Follow-up: The name Turniphead originated from our pre-baby TV obsession, LOST. So when little TH learns the true story of his first name, the only real lesson he will learn is that his parents watched too much TV.”