Our administrators believe strongly in letter-writing as punishment for minor discipline infractions (as in, ones that are big enough for an office visit, but not big enough for a hard-core punishment), because it forces the students to apologize for their behavior and also to describe clearly what they did wrong in the first place.  Sometimes the letter is addressed to an offended party, and other times it is an informative letter to the child’s parents.  So I saw TWO letters today–one to me and one to a parent.  I have to say, with both of these letters, it was hard to keep a straight face.

A conscientious parent actually forced her own child to write the first one, in response to an incident at our annual History Faire, which was last Friday.  Background: this event is one of the biggest of the year.  In preparation, every child from 2-6 grade does a research project on some assigned topic, and then in class we put together 3-5 minute presentations about what they’ve learned.  We deck out the whole school (my room turned into Paris this year, and the students represented different people and events related to the French Revolution) and the students and families come for two hours on a Friday night for the students to present their projects.  We make it like a museum, and the kids are the exhibits, standing in classrooms in full costume, ready to give their presentation to anyone who approaches them.

It’s my favorite night of the year, and one that most students take very seriously…all except one of mine this year.  This “Eye-Witness to the Meeting of the Estates-General” sneaked an anachronistic Coke Zero into our room and nipped from it between presentations.  Hence, this letter–

“Dear Mrs. Watson [and other guests who witnessed and reported these incidents],

I am sorry for burping during my History Faire speeches.  Please accept my apologies for disrespecting you and this event.   Sincerely, Speed Racer“

Today was incident number two– a brawl between my boys after lunch.  (I wasn’t the teacher on duty, so I’m unclear whether this fight was friendly or frustrated)  The weapon of choice?  Plastic laminated cards that the students wear on lanyards around their necks to help them keep track of how many milk credits they have left for the month.  So the letters read-

“Dear Mom and Dad,

Today I had to go to the office for hitting A, B, and C with my milk card and lunch box.  I am sorry for fighting.  I am also sorry because I did not answer my teacher when she asked me what happened.  I recognize that my behavior was inappropriate.  Sincerely, X”

So justice was served, and I think we were able to get through both of these incidents (and so many more!) without the kids seeing us laugh as they turned away in shame.

*Note- Due to a couple of incidents of legitimate fighting and bullying, we’re all under a zero-tolerance policy for fighting of all kinds, both play and real.  That’s why the boys were sent straight to the office for the milk card incident.  But, YES, I’m  happy to be in a school where public burping and fighting with lanyards are offenses to be treated with such gravity.  Having worked in a school where students were more often in trouble for actual crimes, I know how good I have it!