Comments on: Identity vs. Role Confusion

By: Amy

Amy — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:12:03 +0000

One of the things that I love about you, Lindsey, is that you not only acknowledge these ambivalent feelings that you have, but you do so with such articulation and love.

I also suffer from this same productivity/pride issue and often actually feel guilty for rocking Michael Charles and still sometimes do for playing with him. But a very sage friend who is the mother of one of the best people I know told me once “If your child is well cared for and knows that he is loved, then you have done your job for the day.” Whenever I look at the dust accumulating or the pile of clean clothes on the chair that need to be put away, I remember Jenny’s words and go read Michael Charles a book!

By: Abbey

Abbey — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 18:53:51 +0000

Vacuum while nursing? Wow, I am impressed. I couldn’t even talk and nurse at the same time…lol.

By: Carol

Carol — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 01:22:49 +0000

I love you Abbey! So philosophical…yet let’s get some practical things discussed while we are at it…I think you and I are a lot alike! And to my little mtb…I think that you will re-define “productive,” as well as continuing to find ways to be “productive” according to the old definition as well. Did you know you can read a book while nursing? Vacuum while nursing (even without the new sling inventions)? Call your mom for a chat or go for a walk when your baby is needing a change of scenery and so do you? Why not get a bluetooth so you can use the phone while folding the mountain of laundry tiny babies make? You’ll figure it out…and hopefully learn to cut yourself some slack. I love you!!

By: Abbey

Abbey — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:09:55 +0000

I think your priorities will change. While you will still wish that the dishes and laundry will done, you will know why they are not done. And you will have an excellent reason for not doing them. They are not as important as a clean diaper, or a full tummy for your precious little one.

Did you get a sling for TH yet? I think it’s a critical purchase if you want to be able to get house work done while TH is still a tiny baby. It meets the baby’s need to be held and allows you to wash dishes, fold laundry, etc at the same time

By: Jill

Jill — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 18:54:25 +0000

You perfectly penned how I felt after I had Sophie. It’s not that I wasn’t ecstatic that I was/am a mother. It’s not that I was unhappy with my decision to stay at home with her. It’s that I measured my day like you do. I had my “things to do” list. I checked off tasks that had been completed and received compliments from my boss and coworkers about how well I accomplished my goals. That’s how I measured my success.

To switch to being at home all day with a baby is a whole new world. The first couple weeks of Sophie’s life, I would be upset when I did nothing around the house. Some days Sophie would command my attention all day long! I was lucky just to be able to make dinner some days. How I measure my success is definitely getting better, but I’m still working on the transition. It’ll happen – it’s good that you’re expecting the change; however, you can’t prepare for it. It just happens.

Though it will feel like “jumping off a moving train onto a platform” having a child is the best thing in the world. You’ll love it!

By: Valerie Pearson

Valerie Pearson — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 13:28:10 +0000

You’ve nailed perfectly the conundrum that plagues every stay-at-home mom I’ve ever talked with. That yes smudgy kisses of appreciation are nice but sometimes it feels nice to have accomplishments that are visible, tangible. No one can see from the outside that on any given day no one peed on the floor or I managed to get an extra load of laundry done. At my job when I worked hard it was evident and for that I found not only intrinsic pride but received external appreciation from someone other than the man who vowed to love me forever and the littles who love me because my name is Mom. While those are supremely important I liked having the external atta-boys.

What a rambling comment…All in all, you have the right attitude. It will be a transition and knowing that before you begin is half the battle.

By: Teresa

Teresa — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 02:06:39 +0000

I totally knew that quote before I read the end of your blog. I LOVE it! And I say you should take more naps now while you can. I have taken a nap each of the last three days, it is my favorite part of summer!