If you know me well, you know that the possibility of mortal danger is always on my mind. I constantly formulate plan-B scenarios and contingency plans in the event that I unexpectedly become the victim of a violent crime (carjacking, mugging, drive-by shooting) or an unfortunate accident (lose balance on wet walkway, trip while walking with scissors, other driver was adjusting iPod). But here is a manifestation of that habit that you may not know about: I try to straighten up every time I leave the house just in case I die while I’m away and someone else has to sort through my effects. I think, “Is this the last impression that I want to leave on my unfortunate loved one? Here lies a woman who never got around to cleaning behind the toilet.” The answer is easy: No way, Jose.*
I give my house a little morbid once-over when I leave for playdates and errands (incidentally, also when I go to bed at night, in case I am murdered in my sleep. That scene would be grisly enough for someone to happen upon without also finding the dinner dishes still in the sink). But I really, really like to give the house a good scour before we leave on a long trip. Not only will I leave my worldly goods in neat order in the event of my tragic demise, coming home to a clean house is a great treat for the lucky traveler who lives to see the end of her vacation.
My blogging has become sporadic enough that you probably won’t even notice the days that I am gone. But for those of you who like to be in the know (and since I’m being faithful to my Facebook-is-made-for-man-not-man-for-Facebook principles and not posting status updates), we will be getting away soon, so I am enjoying a flurry of good housekeeping. I expect to come back with my skin cells lightly toasted and my creativity rejuvenated. At the very least, I’ll have a couple of cute photo posts up my sleeve.
*You may ask yourself, “If you are dead, will you really care if someone else discovers your dirty bathrooms?” Answer: Yes. Yes, I will. And I will cry the first tears of embarrassment that Heaven has ever seen.