In case I haven’t said this already, Stephen has been great in the midst of all my postpartum adjustments. Before August 27, he came home every day to one very non-demanding wife and a calm and orderly house. Now, he is living with two unpredictable females who cry unpredictably, who may or may not be comforted by food and/or affection. But he’s been remarkably patient with both of us, and gladly assumes his dad/husband hat as soon as he walks in the door from work. This means that among many other things, he changes diapers, bounces the fussy baby, runs to the grocery store, takes us out to dinner, and helps with household chores without any complaining! My husband is awesome!
September 22, 2009
Abby is almost a month old, and since last Thursday, she’s been in a high-maintenance phase (I’m getting a rare extended-nap break…but more on this in a post to come). Now more than ever, I’m having to make the most of every golden moment when she is not demanding my attention, which means that my to-do list for each day has to be painfully basic. It’s allowed me to see where my true priorities lie! I’ve been a little surprised at what routines I have been able to give up, and what I always have to make time for.
Essentials:
-Put on deodorant
-Brush teeth (I actually forgot this one day, and when I realized it I was mortified…it made me feel like I was de-evolving into a cave woman.)
-Fix hair (It’s been in the same easy style for a month now, but it’s always pulled up.)
-Put on makeup (Again, my routine is simple, but I don’t ever skip it.)
-Change out of pajamas. Lately, now that I can fit back into most of my old clothes, I’ve tried to wear real outfits, not just stretch pants and t-shirts.
-Open blinds in the living room
-Read. It’s one of the few things I can do while feeding or rocking the baby, and I’ve been blazing through some of my old favorites.
-Check e-mail.
-Make bed.
-Keep house generally picked up- dirty dishes put away, baby clutter kept to a minimum.
-Feed dogs and let them outside.
And, the sometimes-surprising Non-Essentials:
-Fold laundry immediately.
-Put away folded laundry immediately.
-Sweeping and mopping floor.
-Put on jewelry
-Check e-mail more than twice a day.
-Respond to e-mail
-Answer ringing telephone
-Exercise
-Modesty (Okay, I haven’t done anything obscene. But pre-Abby, I was modest to the point of prudery…now I just don’t care as much, especially in my own house!)
-Grocery shopping
-Turning lights on (I think it’s gloomy to keep the lights off, but if a dim room keeps the baby asleep, I’m not going to rock the boat.)
-Blogging and reading blogs
I will say, I managed to accomplish a wonderful non-essential yesterday: I put up some fall decorations! It took me two days instead of an hour, but I got a wreath on the door and some pumpkins scattered around the house. It makes me feel like a homemaker again, and it reminds me that we’ve entered my favorite season of the year.
September 15, 2009
Here’s a glimpse of the few thoughts I’ve had about topics other than the baby:
I’ve posted a new book review! The bad news is, the book stunk. The good news is, I’m able to read while I feed and hold the baby during the day, which gives me much-needed mental vacations from laundry and diaper-changing. For some variety, I keep a little portable CD player next to my favorite spot on the couch. I am listening to an audio book and also a sermon series on Ephesians by Tommy Nelson (one of my top three favorite preachers ever).
I try to only indulge myself by watching TV during feedings at night time, when I am too sleepy to do anything else. I’ve been speeding through seasons of Friends. Season 8 is definitely my favorite! The one with the story about backpacking through western Europe is maybe the funniest episode of all time.
September 15, 2009
Going out of the house is a lot more complicated with Abigail in tow, but mustering up the nerve to take a few excursions has been a huge part of my return to “normal” life.
On the recommendation of our pediatrician, we’re still avoiding large crowds of friends and family, which means that we haven’t gone to church or taken visits to my or Stephen’s school. But we got an “all clear” for being out in the world in general, so I’ve been taking advantage of my freedom!
We’ve gotten pretty comfortable taking Abby around town for short trips (so far always tightly scheduled between feedings); she’s shopped at Wal-Mart, Target, and Academy, and she’s watched me enjoy a few meals out at local restaurants, including one fun afternoon when we met my dad for lunch on his break.
Last week Abby and I traveled with my mom to go shopping in Austin, and we had a great time! We browsed in the Domain shopping center, and walked through IKEA on the way back home. Abby was a very good girl and even let us enjoy a sit-down lunch on the patio of a nice restaurant.
So far I’ve never been brave enough venture out for a big trip all by myself, but my nerve is up the next time I have a compelling reason to go out. Also, we’ve introduced Abby to bottles, which she takes very readily, so that gives me even more flexibility to be out in the open with her for longer stretches of time.
September 12, 2009
Abby had her two week appointment with her pedi last Thursday, and she got a great report! She’s gained almost a pound over her birth weight, which means that feeding is going abundantly well. Dr. B. said that good weight gain also indicates that all of her other systems are developing normally, so hooray! Just what this paranoid mama needed to hear.
I’ve swung back and forth like a super emotional Pong between the extremes of newborn care…when Abby sleeps in her bed, I rejoice at her independence and then worry that she’s feeling neglected and not getting enough love. So, I pick her up and worry about training her to depend on me for sleep.
She’ll get hungry after two hours and I’ll worry that she’s eating too often…but when she sleeps long and it’s been almost four hours, I worry that she’s gone too long without food. Or, I worry that she’s sleeping so much during the day she’ll be up all night.
I’ll hear her dirty her diaper in her sleep, and I won’t want her to sit in her mess for too long, but I’ll be reluctant to disturb her in the middle of a good nap.
I’ve read Baby Wise, and I’m attracted to the idea of a schedule, but I haven’t had much willpower to try to force my sleepy newborn to stay awake after feedings, or to make her wait for too long to eat when she’s clearly hungry, or to wake her from a good nap to keep her on an eating schedule. I don’t really feel too much guilt about this, except when it’s the middle of the night and either Stephen or I have been up for hours doing the “rain dance” with a baby who won’t fall asleep…and I wonder if these long nights are my own making.
But, despite all of this, I am doing better about enjoying the ride, and I’m trying to be confident as I figure out what routines will work for this mama and baby. And as far as the big picture goes, Abby is really a pretty easy baby compared to some stories I’ve heard, and we’ve been blessed abundantly with lots of little girl clothes, we have lots of delicious food in the fridge from our church and school friends, and I have enjoyed incredible support from my mom and mother-in-law. I am definitely counting my blessings!
Here’s a sweet pic of Abby, for those of you who aren’t on Facebook, by my talented photographer friend Abbey:
September 11, 2009
Here is installment one in a series of short snippets from the past weeks:
As you’ve noticed if you have tried to call, e-mail, or Facebook message me lately, I’ve allowed myself to “go dark” for the past few weeks. For a natural introvert such as myself, all of those polite social behaviors reqire energy…and I’ve been avoiding all non-essential energy output since we’ve been home with Abby. I’ve figured that this is the one time in my life people will forgive me for antisocial behavior. But, I’m starting to regain my footing, both physically and emotionally, so I’m hoping to re-establish human contact over the next week or so. See you around!
September 10, 2009
I’m working on a new post! Don’t give up on me!
August 31, 2009
We got home from the hospital on Friday night, and I’m still in major overload-mode. Everything is going well; I’m just learning the basics of feeding and soothing and cleaning…while keeping up (or not) with daily routines and tasks…all in a body that feels even stranger to me now than it did before Abby was born!
I’ll get to processing more publicly soon, I hope, but in the meantime…
In the final days! I think this was Sunday night; I went into the hospital on Tuesday to be induced.
30 hours into the process…almost there! That’s 4 AM, if you’re looking at the clock.
…and here she is!
Ready to go home!
She sleeps A LOT!
August 25, 2009
Yesterday I came home from my doctor’s appointment discouraged by my lack of progress. We had scheduled the induction date, but I had hoped it wouldn’t come to that. Too unmotivated to nest, I put on my pajamas and flopped on the couch in front of one of my favorite movies.
When Stephen came home and found me, very un-O-lan-like, sleeping in front of a blue TV screen, he kicked into action. We talked for a bit about the doctor’s visit, and then he went to pick up some Chinese take-out for dinner. We ate in front of the TV, watching three episodes of Alias in a row to finish off our disc. I went to bed early to enjoy my last night of sleep in my own bed. Just what I needed!
After getting home from work today, I finished my final round of chores, thinking “this is my last…” for every one.
1. Drop off Alias to Blockbuster.
2. Gas up car, splurge on car wash so baby gets a clean ride home
3. Eat lunch– finish as many leftovers out of fridge as possible
4. Toss remaining leftovers
5. Empty trash
6. Run dishwasher, put away clean dishes
7. Fold clean towels in dryer
8. Take a nap!!
9. Pack final items in bag
10. Last shower- wash hair and shave legs
11. Send last-minute instructions to sub, who starts my job tomorrow. (Now let it go!)
Things are about to get crazy around here!
August 24, 2009
We’re 24 days into our first month on the new tight-belt budget, and so far, so good! I check the credit card statement about once a week, and I’m keeping a tally of the things we’re spending in each category. I can already see some flaws in my system, but with only about a week left, our spending has been drastically reduced, so…success!
What has worked:
- Shopping with a list. My grocery spending is way down, as are those mysterious “Target” or “Wal-Mart” expenses.
- Keeping all of my spending money in cash makes it easy to decide if I can or can’t afford a splurge.
- Eating at home IS cheaper. I have made an effort to cook out of things that are already in my pantry, and of eating leftovers until they are GONE, not just until I am tired of them. We’ve both been brown-bagging it since going back to work, and it’s been satisfying to feel so responsible.
TRUE STORY: Last weekend we went to the Dr. Pepper Museum (on free admission day!). We knew that later in the afternoon we wanted to hang out at Common Grounds. SO, we packed a picnic lunch and in between those activities, we ate on the grass overlooking the Brazos River. It cost us nothing, and was so much more pleasant than sitting in Chick-fil-A! Well worth the 20 minutes of pre-planning before leaving the house.
Needs “tweaking”:
- My “spending” category is too general, or I have not allotted enough money for it. I am WAY over in this category, even though we have been very good, due to stupid stuff like weekly hospital co-pays and the fact that I needed a billion stamps for thank-you cards.
- Purchases like shampoo, toilet paper, and dog food are just going to have to be classified as “groceries” because I usually buy them at HEB. It’s just too much hassle to tally them separately.
- I’m going to have to watch myself on “playing the system”– in the past month I have considered categorizing a nursing bra as “groceries,” and those pesky co-pays as “childcare” just to try to make my numbers add up. But what’s the point of rules if I change them?
Anyway, with TH coming soon and a weird month of extra expenses but also lots of gifts and “free” meals, I don’t know how helpful our “budget” will be until we settle into more of a routine. But, at least we’re thinking hard about spending and seeing a general decline. For now, I think that will have to be good enough.
