Let’s Go Rangers

A friend called yesterday with some extra tickets to “Faith Night” at Ameriquest Field in Arlington. This means that for the price of one ticket, we could attend an outdoor Mercy Me concert AND the Texas Rangers vs. Cleveland Indians baseball game. So we went. I’d like to share my observations and favorite moments of my evening of America’s Favorite Pastime.

*Apparently there was a lot of discussion on Christian radio around the Metroplex about whether or not it was tacky to use a MercyMe concert to get people to attend a sporting event. I brushed those concerns off with the pragmatic reasoning: “Hey, free concert for the price of a baseball ticket. Cool.” But even I had to admit it was a little dissonant to hear park vendors shouting “Popcorn!” over Bart Millard’s rendition of “Holy, Holy, Holy.”

*Along the same lines, I also felt that it was a slight burring of the secular/sacred lines to see the Rangers mascot (a man dressed up like a horse dressed up like a baseball player) headbanging to some upbeat praise song, and later dancing with Bart Millard on stage.

*Concerts that are attended by Christians and youth are great places for scouting new and hilarious t-shirts, such as “This shirt is not pink, it’s lightish red” and “You don’t suck…you’re made in God’s image.”

(Into the stadium, on to the game… )

*Okay. Baseball seems so simple when you’re in third grade and running around plastic cone bases at P.E. But real baseball is way too complicated for me. For starters, everything hinges on very close-range details (was his foot on the base or not?), and it’s impossible to tell at all what is happening from the stands. Secondly, I hate the scoreboard. Between all of the numbers and gridlines and one-letter abbreviations, I feel as if I am trying to solve a complicated word problem when all I want to know is if our team is winning or not.

*My favorite thing about baseball games, bar none, is the Jumbotron. It was so entertaining to watch the close-up pictures of the players and all of the funny Jumbotron games, I almost forgot that I was sitting through a boring baseball game. My favorite moments are 1) watching the “Kiss Me” footage and 2) watching the way that people react as soon as they see themselves on the screen. It’s always a look of surprise followed by dancing or cheering with renewed enthusiasm.

*Speaking of the players themselves, it is just like I remember from high school: baseball players always have protruding round bottoms. Is it something about baseball that develops the glutes into such a distinct shape? Or does the preexistence of such a booty somehow contribute to one’s becoming an exemplary baseball player, like being tall does with basketball? Do adults approach young men who have that feature and say things like “Wow, that’s a round behind you have there. Are you going to be a professional baseball player when you grow up?”

*Here is something I did not know: The popularity of The Wave did not go the way of The Mighty Ducks, as I had once believed. Rather, it is alive and well with overzealous fans even in a rational place like Texas.

Of course, no baseball experience can even come close to watching my dear Aggies batter up at Olsen Field, but overall it was a pretty fun night. Thanks to the youth of Potosi Baptist Church who paid for a ticket and then backed out at the last minute so that we could enjoy the night for free!

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21 responses to “Let’s Go Rangers

  1. great insight, Linds. I especially liked the part about the baseball players’ rear ends. I wonder if Stephen knows how intently you were examining them. I bet you wish he had proposed on that jumbotron, huh?

  2. I actually had to wipe the drool off of her chin. And then to make matters worse. I had to listen to her tell me how I need to work out my butt muscles.

  3. You guys are clearly lying. Anyone who knows my taste knows that I’m not a Butt Girl…I’m all about the back. Don’t take that the wrong way, Karen.

  4. You like backs, eh? I know where you can find a nice one!

    My mother and grandmother are avid baseball fans. They frequently comment about the players’ backsides. It’s quite disturbing.

    Actually, I think I might be a Butt Girl. But, I come by it honestly, I guess. 🙂

  5. Lindsey, it wouldn’t let me comment under my blogger name! I tried several times, from different browsers.

    I think beta has a lot of bugs. But that’s just me.

  6. Beta stinks, but I can’t switch back. Try signing in as Other and you can link to your blog.

  7. Anyway, people…baseball.

  8. The fact that they have to have something called “Faith Night” to get butts in the seats at The Ballpark is completely unacceptable. Not everyone is a Christian. Sure, you can say, “You don’t have to go to the concert,” and I didn’t, but it didn’t keep me from hearing it or seeing 10,000+ people at a ballpark for a reason other than a baseball game. I don’t see any other denominations sending bands to The Patio before a game. We could have won the game and it still would have been the worst game that I have attended all year long. I never knew that so many uninterested, fair-weathered fans could be packed into one place for 9 innings.

    You were a “little dissonent” to hear vendors trying to make money selling their product at a BASEBALL GAME? Welcome to The Ballpark, it’s part of the game. All of the tickets printed for the game said, “Texas Rangers vs. Cleveland Indians; Saturday, September 2, 2006; 7:05 PM; Ameriquest Field in Arlington”, not, “Mercy Me; Saturday, September 2, 2006; 5:00 PM; The Patio at Ameriquest Field in Arlington”

    It’s not hard to learn the game of baseball. In fact, it is much easier than other sports such as hockey and basketball. And as to your butt obsession, much of the power of a baseball player is derived from the lower regions. Especially the legs.

  9. Wow, OK, someone is bitter.

    They changed the name to Ameriquest Field? I gotta get out more.

  10. “Faith Night,” whether good or bad, was a money-making decision, just like selling popcorn. If you have a problem with one, you should have a problem with the other. You can’t tell me they sell “peanuts and crackerjacks” just because of the song.

    As for uninterested fans, I actually think most fans aren’t that interested in the game. Otherwise, why do so many people get so drunk? I would much rather listen to a concert I don’t care for than have a hoarde of drunk fans in the row behind me.

    And I think most people understood the ghetto booty comments to be in jest, for the sake of good writing, not for being physiologically correct. It does take powerful legs to be a powerful player, but that’s not as funny. It’s actually not funny at all, just a fact.

    Anonymous, I appreciate your love of the game, but this post is written about the funny things in life, not about baseball for baseball fans. It needs to be taken, as it’s titled, “with a grain of salt,” and with a little bit of humor as well.

  11. Oh, and anonymous… you have a choice on what game you go to. Don’t like Faith Night? Don’t go.

    I always avoided the Christian Youth Day at Six Flags… unless it was a good concert, but if you’re going for the purpose of riding rides, it’s not worth the crowds.

  12. 1. No one is saying that the vendors should not be selling popcorn during the concert. My point was that objectors may have been right that the blending of a Christian concert and a sporting event was a bad idea.

    2. I didn’t say baseball was hard to understand. I said the scoreboard is complicated and it’s hard to see the game from the stands.

    3. I’m guessing that the managers of the Ballpark are the ones who invited Mercy Me to come do a concert. And yes, it was in order to get people to pay money to come attend a game. The Ballpark is always using gimmicks as incentives because the there are not enough loyal fans who would come just for the love of the game to pay the bills. It’s very sad, I’m sure, but it’s life.

  13. what the crap, anonymous? don’t talk to my sister that way. I’ll kick your butt.

  14. Laurashmaura, you might need to work on those powerful legs for the butt kickage. Anonymous just might be a baseball player, and you know what you’re up against there!

  15. But if anonymous is a baseball player, you’ll have a nice round target.

  16. You go, girls!

  17. Okay, I’ve been convicted, and realized that rude comments do not mean I can be rude, too. I retract the booty comment, and apologize that I did not extend Christian grace to someone who may not have understood the levity of the post.

    Anonymous seems to already be bitter about Christians, and I in no way want to contribute to that.

  18. Whoa, we all need to back off and take a deep breath. Baseball, popcorn, concerts, physiques … I’ve lost track of the point of the post. Time to move on, please.

  19. A new blog is in the queue, people!

  20. Well, I’m still ticked that I can’t comment under my blog name! And I wanted you to have 20 comments. Isn’t that cool?

  21. Thanks for inviting us…geesh

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