I felt like Paris Hilton on the Simple Life when I looked out the front window this morning and yelled for Stephen to come look outside: “We have turkeys in the yard!” Stephen came to look, and corrected me between his fits of laughter, “Those are Guineas,” which apparently is something different. It took special maneuvering out of my driveway to avoid hitting said Guineas as I rushed off to work a few minutes late, as usual.
Later on in my commute, I was watching the sun rise and considering it to be one of the most overrated beauties of nature when I had to swerve abruptly to avoid hitting a dog on the side of the road. The country roads in Bosque county have no shoulder to speak of, and someone had set out their trash right at the end of their driveway. This dog was nosing around in the garbage with one of those giant vet head-cones around his neck. I passed judgment on the pet owners at this time, for whatever wound was supposed to be protected from irritation by the unsightly protective collar was probably rubbing up against germy refuse at that very moment.
My animal adventures continued as I crossed the county line and drove past my favorite commuting landmark, a farm named “Tottie’s Exotics.” Before you pervs out there get your hopes up, the name refers to exotic animals. From the road, you can actually see bison and llamas in the yard, but the real treat are the larger-than-life ceramic statues of other exotic animals such as camels, hippos, and apes. I’ve been waiting all summer for a good excuse to bring up Tottie on this blog, and today my first-ever animal post is as good as any.
The wildlife around me became much less interesting as I cruised into Waco city limits, but in a curious aligning of the stars, on this, my animal-filled morning, my talk radio show host decided to break his self-imposed ban on panda stories. Apparently in Beijing, an inebriated man jumped into the panda cage at the zoo and woke the panda up by petting him. Startled, the panda bit the intruder. Not to be bullied by this great bear, the man bit the panda back. Yes, you read that right.
At 7:45, I arrived at school and walked into my fourth grade classroom. Now you want to talk about a zoo…