The Baby Question seems to have come up a lot lately, since we are young (but not too young) and have now managed to stay married for two years, it seems like the natural next step in most people’s minds. Certain members of my family are now especially interested in this question as they now have a financial stake in the answer (ahem, ahem, Watsons…).
I’ve been pondering the Question some myself, and I feel very strong pulls in contradicting directions. One one hand, I’d like to wait. Although I never thought I’d think this way, I actually am enjoying my full-time job and I don’t feel ready to give it up, which I would want to do if we had a baby. I feel like I’m just hitting stride as a fourth grade teacher, and I hate the idea of quitting just as I’ve learned how to do my job well. Also, my ambitions at LO have not even come close to running their course. I’d like to gain enough clout there so that I can stay involved in committees and decision making even after I’ve gone to working part time.
Also, as you know from previous posts, we’re in major limbo from Stephen’s perspective, and we’re looking seriously at the idea of him going back to school for a couple of years. It seems like a less-than-responsible decision to choose to have a baby at a time when neither one of us could devote our time to bread-winning OR staying home with Junior. It would be possible, but less than ideal.
On the other hand, I love the idea of having a baby. Many of my other young married friends are thinking about getting pregnant or have already had babies, and I hate missing out on the bandwagon. I’d like it if I had kids at the same time as my friends, so we could do play dates and our kids could be in the same school grade and could grow up and marry each other. I love hanging out with my little nieces and nephews, and I enjoy the babies of my friends. I’ve really had Baby Fever since I was about thirteen, and now that I’m good and twenty-five it seems like surely I’ve waited long enough. Not to mention, I would like four kids, and unless I can be really efficient and have twins, I need to get going or I’ll be too old for the last one.
On top of all of my mental confusion, there is the very inconvenient fact that often bodies don’t cooperate with the deadlines that are set for them. Some people get pregnant before they mean to. Some people don’t get pregnant right away, even if it is time according to The Plan. So even if I had a set date in mind, there’s no guarantee.
So…here is your answer: I DON’T KNOW. I’ll tell you when the test is positive, and nothing before then. No speculating!