Catch 22

So I’m trying to make healthy choices by drinking lots of water (or at least, what I consider to be water equivalents–lemonade, tea, Kool-Aid…) since it’s super hot outside and apparently bodies need lots of water anyway.  I feel like I’m drinking CONSTANTLY and I’m not even drinking my “recommended” amount.  It’s something like two gallons!  But even at this level of dehydration, it’s super annoying because Turniphead is sitting right on my bladder like it’s his royal throne.  Even if I’ve only had three tiny sips of liquid since my last potty break, a little jump or squirm from the The Child sends me running for the ladies’ room.  I feel like I’m spending a disproportionate amount of time in the bathroom, which is really getting in the way of my ambitions of productivity.

As a solution, I’m thinking of turning my bathroom into a home office.  I’ll get a Camelback backpack and fill it with my daily ration of water.  I’ll keep the straw in my mouth so that I can drink constantly and keep my hands free.  (Maybe with 24-hour water drinking I can get my two gallons drunk.)  I’ll set up my computer on a lap desk and install a wireless router on my Clearwire box.  This may be a disturbing mental picture, but I think that all of my fellow small-bladdered companions can understand that desperate times sometimes call for desperate measures.


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