Short and Tweet

Sometimes I wonder if I still have enough brain cells to keep blogging.  It’s so hard to focus on one topic long enough to think of two or three sentences that go together, much less two or three paragraphs!  I’ve wondered if I’ve moved into a Twitter stage of life.  What do you think?

After years of soaping up the old fashioned way, I decided to be a real woman and get a pouf.  Problem is, even after I’ve washed everything (twice!), I still have to stand there and double my shower time trying to rinse the rest of the soap out. Please!  If I ever want a reason to stay longer in the shower, I’ll shave my legs above the capri pantline.

Abby wiggles her index finger at me as a signal that she wants me to sing, “Where is Thumbkin?”  When I start, she laughs hysterically.  I mean way beyond how funny the song actually is.  I wonder if she’s really just messing with me to see how many times she can get me to perform on command, and laughing at me dancing like a puppet?

Speaking of Thumbkin, is it weird that all five fingers say “How are you today, sir?” and then at the end we call them all a “family”?  Where’s the mom?  I had never noticed how  socially progressive this song is, and I’m not sure I’m comfortable with it.

My latest pet peeve: inside joke bumper stickers and vanity plates.  What is the fun in a bumper sticker that only you understand, when you are presumably in the front seat of your car, looking forward?  They’re almost always some variation on the black letters on the white oval, which was cool and European at first but is way overused now.  On a similar note, I don’t like it when there are so many tiny words I have to get up on your tail at a red light to read what it says.  Especially if then it says something like, “If you can read this, back off!”  Well, use a bigger font!

Not nearly enough of you have clicked on Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Twitter page from the Delicious feed.  People, it’s hilarious and I don’t even totally understand Twitter.

Similarly, I’m not really thinking of converting.  I’m too intimidated by all the hash marks.

It’s May 6.  When I get in my car in the middle of the afternoon, the heat literally makes my eyeballs hurt.  It’s going to be a long summer.  (Fortunately, I’m going to be smokin’ hot in a swimsuit this year.  I’m sure the other moms at the splash pads will be turning green with envy.)

Do you need more proof that parenthood kills brain cells?  The other night we had some new-parent friends over for dinner and when it got dark we sat in a circle on the back patio and watched the bug zapper.  We were completely entertained, to the point of laughing out loud, for at least 30 minutes.

Forget Abby’s enrichment; lately I’ve been turning on Baby Einstein DVDs to make myself smarter.



5 responses to “Short and Tweet

  1. So a real woman has a pouf? Well count me out too then! Thanks to my mother’s voice in my head, I always wondered about those harboring bacteria. 🙂

  2. I love blogs full of short, hilarious blurbs – reminds me of Readers Digest, only a lot funnier. 🙂 Keep up the good work; it is the highlight of my day to read your blog.

  3. You always make me laugh, girl!

  4. I love reading your blog, and I love my ‘squishy’ as Caleb calls it, but I cannot stand it when Kenneth tries to use mine! Aarg! I buy him a blue one for a reason (and I have pink). They get changed out every three months because as Teresa pointed out…bacteria…icky! Keep the posts coming, you always brighten up my day!

  5. Laughed out loud at this post. Keep blogging!

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