I’ve been trolling lots of new blogs and websites lately, following tweets and links to all kinds of fun articles in those wee hours of the morning when I’m up with Jem. (I’ve tried being purposeful and productive, really I have…but my capacity to better myself is limited between midnight and 6 AM.) This post from the Gypsy Mama was a fun read: 100 Ways You Know You’re a Mom. Please check it out, since this is her idea.
I am piggybacking on this post here, and adding my few ideas that are specific to moms of the under-three and newborn set.
You Might Be a Mom of Littles When
…your idea of “accessorizing” means putting on your Moby wrap.
…you can breathe easier after you’ve removed a booger from someone else’s nose. (Hopefully, just your child’s. Remember what your mama told you: “You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”)
…You automatically RSVP “no” to any event that starts after 7 PM, and you wonder what is up with the wild person who scheduled that event in the first place.
…You’ve devoted significant mental energy into trying to figure out how Lowly Worm manages to drive a car. (And why, if he is legal driving age, how it is that he’s so slow to make basic logical deductions!)
…You excuse yourself from the table to “use the potty.”
…The employees of your local Chick-Fil-A know you by name.
…You’ve sprayed yourself in the face with milk of your own production.
…When you talk about a painful “let down,” you mean much more than a feeling of disappointment.
…You’ve remained silent at a dinner party because, after searching your brain, you couldn’t think of anything to add to the conversation that didn’t have to do with your children or something you saw on PBS Kids.
…When you quote that funny thing Barney said on TV, you’re talking about the purple dinosaur, not Neil Patrick Harris’s womanizing character from How I Met Your Mother.
…You write it in your gratitude journal when you get to use the bathroom without someone climbing onto your lap.
…It’s easier to dig the last bits of lipstick out of the tube with a Q-tip than to get the kids out of the car at the department store to buy new makeup. (And let’s be honest– since you only put on lipstick once a quarter anyway, this technique can hold you over for at least a year!)
…You’ve convinced yourself that you LIKE the way your hair looks when it’s air-dried and pulled into a ponytail.
…You have a potty seat in the trunk of your car and diapers in the glove box.
…Your parents keep the kids overnight and you and your husband opt to stay in and go to bed early. To sleep.
…The last movie you saw in the theater was the original Twilight.
…Every one of your shirt collars is stretched out.
…The skin on your stomach feels like suede.
…You have a short fringe of bangs that you never requested from a hairdresser.
…Digging in your purse, you realize you’ve left your wallet at home but you did get out with a pair of princess panties, four crayons, and a gadget for making spaghetti out of play-doh.
…You could survive for a day on the snack food stuck in the cracks of your car seats.