I texted this line to my sister the other day as a way of warning her that I could not guarantee Abby’s good behavior at a grown-up event that night. I intended for Laura to fill in the traditional end to Forrest Gump’s favorite line of wisdom: “…you never know what you’re going to get.”
CERTAINLY, ABUNDANTLY, this is true. The unpredictability of my toddler is the one constant in my life at the moment. But there are other ways to finish the sentence here, and I’ve amused myself for a couple of days trying to think of alternative endings to Mama’s great advice.
Toddlers are like a box of chocolates…
…sometimes they’re nutty.
…you can’t leave them in the car on a hot day.
…it doesn’t take much for them to become a sticky mess.
…if you’re not careful, they’ll stay forever on your hips.
…they’re gone before you know it.
(You can interpret this figuratively to mean they grow up quickly, or literally to mean you can’t take your eyes off of them in Target for a second.)
…there’s always more going on inside than meets the eye.
…if you leave them unattended, someone might take them.
…they’re cute when they’re accessorized with bows.
…they’re great subjects for Instagram photos.
…you shouldn’t have more than two or three at a time, unless you have a particularly strong constitution.
…there IS a way to know what you’re going to get, but no one figures it out until after they’ve already damaged a few.
And I’m out! Anything to add, clever friends?